Right now I am really glad I have this blog. Even though not many people are reading it, it's still getting done. Someday I hope some of all of this means something. It's strange, but ten years ago I firmly believed that the only proof I existed was the hand written novel outlines I had in a backpack that I was wondering through some California deserts with. Yes I was homeless, not for a super long time, but I was in a really bad way for several years. No, not drugs or Alcohol, it was just how my life was going at the time. The specter of that time in my life always haunts me. My test of guts.
It's like I know it can happen, because it did, so it can happen again.
Yet I feel like I am fighting constantly to...evolve. Change is not a big enough word. My situation, my place in life must get better. So, I am sacrificing constantly, every day. Everyday what I am making is what I believe is steady, incremental movement towards that permanent life evolution that makes it so the homeless time of wandering wont' happen again. At least as much as anyone can control that.
This is the crazy part, the thing that is keeping me up.
It's over.
I did it, it just hasn't kicked in yet.
I put together a team and we have found some things that are going to change everything for us. And no, it's not one movie that is going to save the day. Yes I still work in that business, and yes I have movies/tv shows that are in my future. But this is something else.
I can't actually say specifically what it is, just that my team is continuing its Vett and we maybe on a 3 month window to permanent evolution.
The absolutely nuts part of this part is that so many other things are going crazy right now and could be seen as bad. More than that, whats really cool. Is that I am juggling a ton of different stress, and stressed out people. 6 months ago got me prepared for this time. I am growing and learning so much and it's paying off almost every week.
I am leading multiple teams, and groups of people through several different things. From business to family issues(that have never ever come up before, too strange.)
On the bad side, I don't live in my own house, I have no car, I have a suspended license, my cell phone is about to be shut off, and my girlfriend now lives 2 hours away from me. Cell phone is the latest thing, but I have a feeling that's going to be remedied soon. Everything else has been an issue that has been workable for months now. The girlfriend and I just had our 2 year anniversary and I couldn't be happier. Distance is being worked out! This bad side stuff is going to super gone in three months, I am fairly confident if not then very soon after that time frame.
All of this stuff is banging around in my head and I should be freaking out, but I just am not. I keep thinking about the color of the carpet in the office I am going to have...(am chuckling as I write this) I really want to do the Ogilvy &Mather classic English Red...maybe a deeper maroon...who knows. What a silly thing to keep you up until 4am.
When they ask me what the first thing I did was when this all happened, I will say "Got new carpet"
Wow, now I can't sleep because I want to get to work...
Why not, the future is really bright and so is this sunrise.
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